Do you want to be the sound designer for a brand-new outdoor experience? We need birdsong in needlebursts, distinct flat notes. They are lively birds, moving in pursuit of the stout-bodied insects—with broad, hissing heads—on which they chiefly live. Are you authentic and original? Click the Quality of Being tab for the newly abridged sample pack. On-site is a river. In it are rare fish. Fish so expensive—so overfed—that when dried, strung on a wick, and lit they hail ephemeral stars on stage.

We are pleased to announce the frond is thick: shades of purple and green. The Sun—fan-shaped, bleached across the sky—swells up and, on boiling, dissolves. Across the dark—an inconceivable net—one-hundred-sixty-thousand species of moon-lost moths; we will need a sound for that—something in the vein of a sleepy laugh. In your covering letter, please include a favourite place with reference to its impression on your mind. We’re not technical experts; that’s where you come in!

Your work will obscure the hum from our sponsor’s free charging stations but never dip the vibe in our six themed bars. You will tell a story, prosaic but unique. At midnight, the unexpanded flower bud—dragged by its hind limb by our team of unpaid interns—passes through the air to a biodegradable plastic cup. Attach a short statement on what you’re willing to give up. Think: the last extracted coal crushed into diamonds as a memorial to ice. Think: a hen watching an old cat squint as it pierces an eggshell with its last blonde thorn. Please sum up your intended outcomes in fewer than ten words. We’re a close-knit team that loves to suppress our fear.

You are brimming with ideas you are willing to improve. You will work with department heads to deliver high-quality, familiar-distinct, and worthy content for every aspect of the event. Above all, you will contribute to change in an exciting time of transformation. To you, the term sustainability means achieving sustained profits for our shareholders, while mindful of the social and environmental impact of our brand. Does this sound like you? Can you foam like blossom though the bloom is on the edge of its season?